Holiday Stress? Here's Some Helpful Tips...

Oh, what a mixed bag the holidays are! There’s connection and joy and festivities. And there’s additional tasks, obligations, and don’t forget the expectations of how this all “should” be feeling. And then add in that relative that doesn’t seem to understand personal space at the family gathering, and wow, our stress levels can sure rise!

Know that you are definitely not alone in this stress, and also know, that there are things you can do within your control to reduce it.

Over the holidays, we often fall out of our usual routines. It’s nice to have a break from the ordinary, but our nervous systems do like to have some predictability. Try to keep at least some small element of your usual routine. Get up or go to sleep at the same time if you can. If you usually take a nap mid-day, dare to ask at the big family gathering if there’s somewhere you can lay down for a bit. If you usually walk every morning, try to squeeze in even a short one while visiting the relatives out of town.

Your body will naturally breathe deep when experiencing something familiar, even in a different place. If you are not used to prioritizing yourself at times like this (and I get it, you are SO not alone!), doing even one thing to hold your own space can feel incredibly empowering.

Making healthy boundaries for yourself can also be helpful to others! If the holiday gathering gets to be too much, volunteer to take that barking dog for a walk, leave a serious conversation about politics and go play with the kids, offer to run out and get the milk or ice that is needed.

Hard to leave the place? Don’t forget the bathroom. What a wonderful place the bathroom is! You can find one everywhere you go, and no one can argue with your need for it. Pretend that traditional Christmas chili really got to you and take a nice long time in there… Splash cold water on your face and neck to re-set your system, take some slow, deep breaths, in the nose, out the mouth, shake your body a little, and come out more refreshed.

The point is, take action, even a small one, for yourself, and your sanity. You have the power to do so! Even a small action, taken for your benefit, can be incredibly empowering. You are not just at the mercy of everything happening around you. Make a plan with some options. And since accountability helps all of us, tell a friend or trusted relative what your plan is, so they can help you stick to it.

As with all things nervous system related, it’s amazing how the smallest of actions can yield big results. We’d love for others to read our minds, but only you know how you really feel, and therefore only you know best how to take care of yourself. And when you speak up and ask for a place to nap or let others know that you just need a little quiet time alone, you free others to do the same.

The joy that comes from knowing that you can and will take care of yourself, even in the smallest of ways, can really help you tap into the joy of this season.

Be well my friends and take good care!!

P.S. The holidays can be a very emotionally difficult time, and you are definitely not alone. If you are currently experiencing a mental health crisis, this is outside the scope of my expertise. Please pursue immediate support from your primary mental health clinician or dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. 

If you have comments, deep thoughts, shallow thoughts, questions, anything you’d like to share in response to this blog, I would love to hear them. Please send a message to me, Deb, at honeycreekhealing@gmail.com.