The Trouble with New Year's Resolutions...

Ahhh… It’s that time of the year, the New Year. A fresh start, optimistic beginnings, time to look ahead and see where we want our life to go.

New Year’s Resolutions… boy, can these wonderful ideas ever get us into trouble. It’s natural, and fantastic even, to flip the page to January and envision a whole new version of ourselves.

But, we can overdo it. We often feel everything about ourselves needs changing and it must be done all at once!

For example, I recently found an old New Years Resolutions list of my own, it was from about 15 years ago. It went like this:

“This year I want to stop being so uptight and learn to RELAX!” “This year I am going to let go of all that stupid stuff I am hanging onto.” “I am going to stop making excuses and do a work out every single day.”

Sheesh… It was a list of demands that I be DIFFERENT, dammit. What is intended to be something to help us make positive change instead turns into a shame-filled list of everything we don’t like about ourselves, paired with vague, unmeasurable ways to “fix” these 10,000 things, all in one year or less. We charge ahead with gusto for a few days, lose our steam, feel like failures, and give up hope that anything will ever change.

Instead of resolutions that punish ourselves, what if we had resolutions that inspired joy?

I love the approach that nervous system expert Dr. Aimie Apigian takes on healing. She recommends that instead of focusing on how to fix ourselves, we ask the question “How can I become more alive?”

This simple shift in perspective really lightens things up!

Movement, creativity, connection with others, time in Nature, these are all things that can help us truly come alive.

What are my 2025 New Year’s Resolutions?

Good question. I have two of them.

One is to visit a quiet spot in the woods near my house every day possible, to see what’s happening there, and to check in on what’s happening with me, even if just for a few minutes. This will help slow me down a bit, to be present with the world as it is in that moment.

The other is to exercise my Body twice a day for 7 minutes at a time – jumping jacks, jogging in place, dancing (ideally this method) to get my blood pumping, my immune system activated, and to lift my mood and energy levels. I hope to do more than this for exercise over the week, but at minimum, even these two short segments per day will provide a lot of benefits.

If I miss a day with either of these, it’s OK. I forgive myself, and start again tomorrow. AND I also give my son $2. Having accountability in some way helps absolutely every single one of us stay honest and committed to things that are beneficial for us.

These two tangible, measurable goals will definitely help me become more alive, to be more connected to my Body and to my surroundings. Both will calm my nervous system. And the practice of accountability and self-forgiveness with these little things, helps prepare me for doing this with the big things. Finally, the feeling of success that will come with the many days that I can achieve these things, will boost my confidence to take the next step towards health and healing.

If you’d like some help coming up with achievable New Year’s Resolutions that you can really stick with, and/or want some compassionate help understanding why certain goals may have been elusive, I’d love to chat.

I’m offering a New Years Resolution Special, which is available all year actually, for any goal you have. For just $40 we can have a 20–30-minute call about your resolution(s) and what can help make it achievable, and I will serve as your compassionate accountability buddy by checking in with you via e-mail four times over the year. Learn more here.

Meanwhile, I wish the best to you and yours in 2025!

If you have comments, deep thoughts, shallow thoughts, questions, anything you’d like to share in response to this blog, I would love to hear them. Please send a message to me, Deb, at honeycreekhealing@gmail.com.

If you are currently experiencing a mental health crisis, this is outside the scope of my expertise. Please pursue immediate support from your primary mental health clinician or dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.